What Have You Done Today...?

If you watch The Biggest Loser, as I always do, you know how the song goes: “What have you done today to make yourself proud?!” This is an interesting question to pose after having watched a TIVOed episode of last night’s Loser immediately followed by tonight’s Top Model. You can just imagine…

But first, I have to ponder, what have I, Gigi, done today to make myself proud? It’s tough to find things that make me swell with pride in my unemployed existence, but perhaps I can find some nugget if I recall my day. Hmm…let’s see…to begin with, I stayed in bed until 10am as Stu and I have been battling a now three-day bout of insomnia, which is not helped by the fact that I seem to have developed an allergy to, well, air conditioning. As a result, I have been spending my days with a constantly dripping and irritated nose. And as it’s been 90 freaking degrees in Philadelphia this week, I’m doomed to not sleep due to overheating if we turn off the A/C, or over nose-running if we leave it on. It’s not a win-win situation.

When I finally pulled my ass out of bed, I spent a few moments wallowing in self pity over my exhausted state. Then I read my morning news, aka The Superficial and Go Fug Yourself . After my usual Wednesday morning, hour-plus phone date with L. in Seattle, I colored my hair, despite the fact that I just had it done at a salon two weeks ago. Needless to say, it wasn’t quite to my liking. My new color isn’t really up to snuff either, but I made the effort. After coloring, I caught up on some email, had some lunch, and decided that even though I was taking a day off from the gym, I had to get outside and get some form of exercise.

Now this, I might be proud of—I took a two hour walk and topped it off with 10 runs up the Philadelphia Art Museum steps. You know, the Rocky steps? Actually, they’re not nearly as hard to get up as one might imagine, but by schlep #7, I was pretty pooped and therefore pretty psyched to have made it to 10 since my original plan was only 5. If Jillian Michaels had been standing at the top, she would have been very proud of me, I am quite certain.

As for the reality show contestants for whom the song was actually written, I’ve never actually blogged about Biggest Loser before, other than the time I interviewed some peeps who were auditioning for the show in Seattle, and I’m not quite sure how to go about it. I really can’t make fun of anyone because who could critique their efforts? However, I might pause to say that I’m not really sure why the blue team thought it was a good idea for Neil to take a hit and consume mass quantities of crap (tasty as I’m sure all that crap was!) just for a three pound pass. And why on earth did Patty find it necessary to pad the calorie count just because she thought Neil might not have followed through on the plan? And while I was sorry to see Jerry go, I might have to call him the Sorest Loser now. He certainly looks great post-elimination, but his departure was a bit bitter.

Anywho…my favorite part of Biggest Loser, aside from oh, every single minute and Jillian Michaels whom I lovelovelove (Actually, I heart Bob as well, but I so don’t like Kim AT ALL), is how much I cry. So I’m thinking that each week I might just do a short post pointing out some highlights and then perhaps keeping a Cry Count. As anyone who knows me knows, I am a SUCKA for the triumph of the human spirit and the great lengths and efforts one will go to to make life changes. So for me, the Biggest Loser is one big cry fest, so moved am I by everyone on that damn show. So this week’s tear count: 8. Yes, I cried eight times during this two hour episode. I need to think about buying stock in Puffs Plus.

But enough of tissues and on to models! As I asked before, what have you done today, to make yourself proud? I overcame exhaustion and congestion to run up and down steps (in 90 degree heat, mind you!), and the biggest losers, well they get to be proud every moment of every damn day. But what about the models? What have they done to make themselves proud? Well, thanks to Tyra they have solved the environmental crisis, wiped out smoking, and educated the public on the ways of Autism and Asperger Syndrome.

Oh yes, according to the Top Model vehicle, “Green is the new black!” and Tyra is apparently nothing but message focused this go round. And thankfully, Mila is supportive of Tyra’s efforts, claiming that it’s important to “keep the earth good.” Booya!

Mila, apparently also thinks that chemotherapy is a hoot. I guess she didn’t learn that smoking is NOT COOL, which Tyra is so desperate to convey. She’s even gone so far as to make Cycle 9 a *no-smoking* cycle because as only Ty Ty can, she’s “taking a stand.” Booya!

And one more thing of which ANTM can be proud, they’re teaching the world about Autism and Asperger Syndrome and thank god for that since education is clearly in need. I couldn’t tell which model asked Asperger Heather, “So do you like see the world differently than me?” Booya!

Editor’s note before I move on to deliberations: Here’s what else I am ridiculously proud of today—as I am blogging about Top Model, Stu is watching Ken Burns’ World War II documentary. Are my priorities in order or what? Booya!

I’m done saying booya now. I just recently saw that awesome scene from 30 Rock in which booya is a key punch line and I just want to use it all the time. I’ll stop. I promise.

Ambreal: She does have quite a neck. She should be around for a while.

Bianca: You knew she was doomed to the bottom two just cuz she was such a beeyotch to bikini dancer Lisa. But you also knew she wasn’t going anywhere just yet…

Chantal: I can see the bedroom eyes thing, but I still can’t wrap my head around why she’s so spectacular. I know, I know, I’ll wait for the makeover episode.

Ebony: She pulled a fast one on us! They bitchy girl is supposed to pull out a killer photo and prove everyone wrong. She froze and got all insecure on our asses. Eva would never have done such a thing.

Heather: Aw yeah! Aw yeah! My Asperger girl pulls it OUT. Even in a photo with another model, who also looked pretty damn good, Heather’s face is riveting. And how planted was Nigel’s question about Asperger so that Tyra could share her vast knowledge? It’s all about the message, people. Tyra is continually teaching us about the ways of this great world in which we live.

Janet: You know I love the pixie cut girls and I think Janet rocked her shot. Twiggy may not see model, and somehow my cute pixie cut girls never make it, but I’ve got their backs.

Jenah: She’s quite lovely. Let’s see how long she lasts having to quit smoking cold turkey. She had quite the look of terror on her face despite proudly renouncing her dirty habit the minute she saw her photo. Has she never seen those ads where they show you the ugly side of smoking and everyone is all gross and dead? She had to wait until her own fictional disfigurement to quit? It gives one pause.

Kimberly: Don’t like her. Don’t know why. Just don’t like her.

Lisa: Pole or no pole, Lisa kicked it. You knew either she or Bianca had to be in the top two so the other could be in the bottom two, just to fuel the drama fire. Oh sure they’ve apologized now, but now that one’s at the bottom and one is at the *wanna be on TOP*…

Mila: Did I call this one or did I call this one? I feel completely justified in wondering why on earth she even made it on to the cruise, let alone into the final thirteen. And honestly, I’m pretty sure the girl is on crack. She “concentrates on the positives so the negatives go away.” And did you notice, not one tear when she had to pack her belongings and go home. That has got to be an ANTM first. Did you notice how Tyra was trying to remind her that going home first sucks? Nothing. It’s all about the positive. It’s all about the crack.

Saleisha: She did manage to pick out the cutest Old Navy outfit, and she did look lovely in her pic, but not compared to HEATHER!

Sarah: Pretty. Anyone else got anything on Sarah?

Victoria: Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!! Smarty pants took a good picture! She’s almost as awkward as Asperger girl. I think they should be the final two. Imagine that runway.

Until next week, you are still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model!!